One of the mistakes that people often make is assuming that other people are like themselves and have the same motivations. The truth is that people are hardwired at birth with a range of personality attributes. These include the spectrum of extroversion to introversion, an aspect to personality that never changes. Parenting has little effect on a child's personality except in the case of inappropriate parenting. See Attachment Theory for a discussion of how parenting can affect personality.

Extroverts
At one end of a personality scale are extroverts, who hate solitude, love socializing, and love being the center of attention. Socializing invigorates extroverts, who make up one-third of the population.

The problem extreme extroverts have is that they may become angry if someone in their vicinity is not paying attention to them. They may also intrude inappropriately into the lives of other people in order to get attention. Some desire a relationship so much that they may even prefer a negative, hostile relationship to none at all.

Introverts
At the opposite end of the personality scale, introverts love solitude, feel stressed and awkward socializing, and are very stressed at unexpectedly becoming the center of attention.

So the one-third of the population who are introverts are stressed both by socializing and by surprises. They do, however, interact with the general public more successfully by flipping into task-oriented mode instead of personal relationship mode. While this reduces their stress, it makes them appear aloof and impersonal. In task-oriented mode, some introverts can give a well-prepared speech in front of many people, although this will leave them feeling very stressed afterward and they may take a day or two to recover.

The problem extreme introverts have is that they are so effective at compulsively keeping people at arm's length to reduce their stress level that they have poor social skills and may not be aware of how other people see things. They will instinctively avoid interacting with other people unless they have a compelling need to do so and then will do so in a minimal way. They also handle surprises poorly, only being able to walk away or ignore them. These people are best warned in advance of anything new about to happen, even if they are not adverse to new ideas or change.